A first year med student can be spotted more easily than a baby with chicken pox. Here’s what gives you away:
- Can be spotted fighting over free tins of beans at freshers fairs.
- Conversation over lunch includes topics other than resection of the small bowel.
- Jump at the chance to sign-up for clinical trials to earn a fiver being injected with the Ebola virus.
- They turn up to all lectures – even those that aren’t compulsory.
- Commonly throw up in the tube/taxi on the way back from the union.
- Borrow every book on pathology from the library so no ‘proper’ medics can use them to revise for path exams.
- Appear to drown when trying to do a ‘funnel’.
- Clothes are badly stained with fat from the dissection lab.
- End up on the floor after watching a surgeon make the first incision.
- Still want to be a doctor because they ‘care deeply about mankind and want to repay their debt to society for their pitiful existence’
